He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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