I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
