He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
