Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
