Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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