was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
