im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
