so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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