3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
