I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
love makes seman taste better
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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