So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize