You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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