WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
