Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
