were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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