What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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