U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
