Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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