Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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