I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
