He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
