anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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