thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
