he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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