Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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