but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The Olympian is in my bed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
