Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
