i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
