if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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