Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize