im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
