I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
handjob tips. give me some.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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