It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
