I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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