dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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