? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
