i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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