don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
