oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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