sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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