this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I FOUND THE LEGS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
