i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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