chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
