the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
