And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
