My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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