I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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