matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
