YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
