No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize