Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
