Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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