You smell like stripper and shame
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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