I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize