i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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