Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
