he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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