2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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