you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
